When You Hate the Human Experience

spiritual coaching

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Today, I hate the human experience.  Today I curse the day I decided to take form in this body, live this life.  Why? What possessed me to come and do this now? Again?

I want to disappear. Vaporize into pure spirit. Go back to the before.  I want to float out of my body and drift weightlessly, boundlessly free of the emotions that surge through it.

I desperately want to unite with the all-encompassing bliss I was lucky enough, once – just once – to feel after a weekend spiritual retreat.  The warming, flooding perfect joy that shuts out all else; that is pure love, or God, or whatever you choose to call it.  I want THAT again. Now.  But it eludes me.

Today after my husband finds fault with me yet again after I feel I’ve tried so hard to change I feel like giving up.  Today after my business isn’t where I want it to be after six years I feel like throwing in the towel.  Today after yelling