Did you ever notice how different you are when you feel empowered vs. helpless? You know the emotions are different, and as a result, you think different, act different, be different. It’s energizing, invigorating, even inspiring.

Such empowered moments are, of course, when you most easily manifest what you want. You take the risks necessary to make leaps; throw caution to the wind; keep going on the adrenaline rush alone.

You’re invincible.

Inevitably we come down from the high and settle back into neutral, often still energized into action, though, with things generally rolling along. Then something doesn’t quite go as planned, and the doubt creeps in. It’s a slippery slope from invincibility to impotence, but we’ve all succumbed at one point or another to feeling powerless. Other people make choices that permanently change our lives, and even the most confident of us can get stuck feeling victimized.

Whether due to historical precedent, culture or biology (and maybe all three) women seem to have a harder time than men reclaiming their power after a downward spiral. After riding my own emotional roller coaster this year between confidence and doubt, abundance and lack, invincibility and fear, I had to ask why. Why powerful one day, weak the next? Confident one moment, doubting three hours later? Real power certainly can’t be so fleeting, so dependent on external people and circumstances, can it?

So I began to ask: How would a genuinely powerful woman act? What would she do, think, and be like? The following is the answer that flowed. Women (and men if you like), this one’s for you:

  1. She knows she can create her own future. Her destiny is not a random act of the cosmos; it is in her hands. Her future is a direct outcome of her choices in every present moment.
  2. She realizes love begins with loving herself. If she wants to experience love with others, she must first actively love herself.
  3. She is brave enough to speak her heart’s truth. She knows speaking her truth is empowering even if she feels afraid when doing so.
  4. She is willing to be vulnerable in order to make meaningful connections, seek help and support, and form intimate relationships.
  5. She asks for and tells people what she wants and needs with the expectation that she will get it.  She doesn’t command, she leads by example.
  6. She doesn’t force herself to do things she hates, or that others can do for her. She either lets those detestable things go, or seeks help.
  7.  She doesn’t compromise her self-esteem for anyone.   She doesn’t derive her self-esteem from anyone but herself.
  8. She seeks to discover her purpose, and lives it (even through the doubt and fear)
  9. She is unafraid of serving others or helping when it is aligned with her purpose and desires. She realizes there is power in willingly and joyfully serving.
  10. She is decisive, even (especially) when it’s not easy. She values clarity and forward motion such that she will make the best decisions she can at the time rather than stay stuck.
  11. She remembers that her essential nature is love, she is completely loved, and is eternally lovable.
  12. She allows herself to dream and desire, and is clear about what she wants and why she wants it.
  13. She claims or creates what she wants instead of waiting for it to come to her.
  14. She does not give her power away or allow it to be diminished by what other people do, say or think of her. She knows her power does not depend on others.
  15. She realizes God/Spirit/Consciousness is the source of all true power, and when she herself feels empowered, recognizes that source moving through her, directing her, and guiding her. She is grateful and humbled.

How many of the points here resonate with you? How many would be useful reminders the next time you feel powerless? And if you could remember them often enough to live from them, might they just keep you from riding the roller coaster between power and victim for good?

That’s my intent. What about you?

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